As my fiance and I planned a wedding, we had to take our budget, guest count, food options, and more into account.
Truth be told, I didn't enter wedding planning with the primary goal of making it as sustainable as possible. If I wanted to do that, I likely would have eloped. It's what my fiance wanted to do, and while it's a hot take for some people, the most philosophically sustainable event is no event at all. Eloping cuts down on the biggest source of carbon emissions - air travel from guests! It also virtually eliminates the costs of everything else involved in throwing a giant party.
However, I did want to have a wedding, as many people do! So, I utilized several strategies in the planning process to not only make the event more environmentally friendly, but also save money for future big purchases.
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Finding a Pretty Venue
Venues with built-in decor, such as fancy architecture, lights, a beach, trees, or planted flowers in a garden setting, generally require less labor for putting up decorations. We personally didn't need additional lights, streamers, or greenery to spruce up the place, because our venue came with market lights on the patio and plenty of wildflowers around the reception area. This saved us, our wedding party, and our wedding planners a bit of time and energy on the big day.
Using Sustainable Florals
When we initially inquired about the cost of flower arrangements in 2022, the first quote we received was for a starting cost of several thousand dollars. Although flowers are beautiful and often form gorgeous displays, we were already planning to have our wedding outdoors with plenty of natural scenery, so an abundance of flowers wasn't super important to me.
Below are some ways to reduce the environmental impact of wedding florals:
Minimalist Florals - If your venue abounds with beauty already, simply using fewer flowers could suffice. This is what I decided to do! I reached out to a freelance florist (Empathy Floral Co.) to provide us with 4 bridal party bouquets and simple table centerpieces. All flowers were locally grown and sourced. While we did not opt for ground or arch arrangements, there is never any toxic floral foam used in her arrangements, which also benefits the downstream supply chain. Our wedding coordinators also helped us reuse the bouquets by arranging them at the head table before the reception.
Reusable Flowers - Another option is to use wooden, paper, or silk flowers from Etsy, or other retailers. Because these flowers do not wilt or die, they can be resold and reused easily. These can be bought new or found secondhand on Buy Nothing or Wedding Resale Facebook groups in your geographic location.
The bridal wedding bouquet.
Wearing Secondhand Outfits
I've shopped secondhand for clothing for several years now, so buying used outfits was a must for me. When it comes to wedding dresses, there is an expectation that these outfits will be customized and altered to fit the person that will wear them, meaning that there is less pressure to find the perfect exact fit online.
I found a lovely wedding dress on StillWhite.com (my referral code is linked), an online retailer that resells white wedding dresses that are still in mint condition. This process was easier for me as a petite bride, because it's easier to alter clothes into smaller sizes. Fabric can be folded and sewn in without much of a problem, but those who make custom clothing by hand know that expanding a dress involves adding new fabric sections which can be a challenge, and often costs more. It's also not feasible for all types of dresses. For example, a train with intricate sheer lace is harder to hem than a train of pure tulle. The former might need to be reattached carefully to preserve the design, while the latter can just be snipped off to the right length.
My experience with StillWhite was positive - those who list a dress need to pay a fee for the post, which decreases the chance of fraud. I saw options listed anywhere from $200 to well over $1600. At the end of the day, my Watters Wtoo A-line dress (which likely cost $1,200 new) was $600 and shipping via UPS was $50. Alterations at a local bridal shop, which included hemming, adjusting straps, and removing bra cups, came out to $425. I reused a pair of white platform wedges I bought in Tokyo in 2017. I also decided not to wear a veil, as I liked the modern look without it.
The wedding dress.
Therefore, I paid a grand total of $1,075 for this wedding outfit. I also got my Chinese qunkwa secondhand from the Facebook group, subtle asian weddings, and paid a total of $175 for the dress, shoes, and hair pins.
Consider that this article from Savvy Bridal Boutique says that the average 2023 wedding dress costs between $1,800 and $2,500, while this article by Sarah Hanlon from The Knot says that the average cost in 2022 after surveying 12,000 couples was $1,900.
Other ways of reducing wedding dress costs include shopping at sample sales and trunk shows. I don't personally have experience with this, but many retailers offer these options nationwide. Some folks have found new dresses at the 150-450 price point as well, through online retailers like Azazie, which is where I found my bridesmaids' dresses and groomsmen's pocket squares in matching colors.
The groomsmen and fathers were not required to buy special suits, but encouraged to wear existing suits to the wedding. And even though the color of dress was pre-selected, I had the bridesmaids choose the styles of their dresses with the thought that they can rewear these dresses when appropriate. For example, commenters on this Reddit thread reached a consensus that it's totally fine to rewear a bridesmaid's dress to another wedding, as long as they don't look like a member of the new wedding party.
Using Reusable Dishware and Decor
Renting dishware and decor from an events rental company inventory instead of buying is a great way to prevent one-use items from going into the trash, and a great way to avoid having to store or sell a bunch of wedding paraphernalia after the event is long over.
Our wedding planners at Oso Events, Michelle and Raymundo, had been building a sustainable decor inventory collection which was available to us as clients of their full service planning package. We had access to neon signs, decorative vases, card boxes, charger plates, candle holders, a photo booth, and even a ceremony arch, given that all items were returned after the wedding. Oso Events also connected us with a rentals company that provided our tablecloths, dishware and silverware rentals for the night. Again, this reduced the burden the wedding party had to take on in figuring where to put and clean everything after the reception was over.
Food
For our reception meal, we had plenty of vegetarian & vegan options available, which was a sustainable choice in regards to the reduced energy and water usage needed to produce for plant-based foods. In recognizing and respecting our cultural wedding traditions, we chose to have certain meat and fish dishes, though.
We opted for a buffet dinner, but plated meals are actually the least wasteful because they can more accurately estimate how much food each person will get. Our buffet was a hit, however, and we didn't have much food waste by the end of the night.
Our lovely spread!
Other Miscellaneous Items
For our wedding favors, we ordered bubble wands with separate stick on labels. The bachelorette party was a casual dinner together, whereas the bachelor party consisted of a museum visit and some food and drinks. We focused on having a good time and making sure everyone was comfortable, and didn't have additional balloons, clothes, or knick knacks that we needed to toss by the end of it all. Wedding guests famously leave behind wedding favors, so we were actually able to bring the untouched bubble wands to a later reception with a lot more kids, which had a blast playing with them!
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By seeking out some wedding options that were environmentally friendly, we ended up going with options that were more budget conscious, and vice versa. Why is this the case?
For starters, we got to rent and use high-quality, aesthetically-pleasing items without paying the price of ownership. We knew these items were high-quality and durable because they were built for reuse. We also didn't have to worry about the "end-of-life" plan for these items, since they would go straight back to their owners after a once-in-a-lifetime event. While figuring out what to do with stuff after the wedding is not the top concern amidst wedding planning, it can eat up plenty of time and energy when the new couple is trying to get back to everyday life and full-time jobs. Since we didn't buy our decor new, we weren't paying for the costs of extraction, manufacturing, labor, assembly, and international shipping associated with the production of these items.
There's a similar train of thought in reusing clothing and buying secondhand. We're not paying for new materials or full assembly, just building off of what exists, which is easily the cheaper option. Outfits that are reusable, like the groom's charcoal suit, also retain more value per wear. We have the technology nowadays to alter, clean and preserve these fancy outfits, so that buying and wearing them secondhand isn't as big of a deal as it used to be 100 years ago.
When it comes to the menu, having plant-based options was cost-effective. Animal proteins are often the most expensive thing on a dinner plate, in no small part due to the increased labor and energy expenditures required to grow, raise, and slaughter any livestock animal before it goes to the supermarket.
Last but not least, flowers sourced from elsewhere require the cost of shipping and handling and the cardboard and plastic required to ship them around. Not to mention, they are usually transported from an environment that is very different from the one they will arrive in, which can contribute to them wilting faster.
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Diving Deeper
This process of planning a wedding was not easy... I mean, just watch this CollegeHumor Video. In addition, the way that we did it is by no means the only way to do it sustainably. However, the wedding planning process did strengthen my knowledge of the supply chain, and my appreciation for the people who make it work - from dressmakers to caterers to delivery workers.
The truth is, weddings are highly emotional and rare events for a person and their family to host. There are tons of expectations that a couple and their families must adhere to. The commercial wedding industry capitalizes on these expectations, and it's easy to feel obligated to buy or use things you don't really want. Don't give in! Remember to ask yourself what you'll be paying for, what kind of price goes into the final product, environmental or monetary. We were intentional about services, goods, and experiences that we wanted at the wedding, like artful photography and good dinner food - and we were happy to support local small businesses owned by people of color in the process. We didn't have cake, uplights, getting ready pajamas, a live band, or a formal rehearsal dinner - though there was a ceremony rehearsal for marking positions. You don't need to have everything under the sun to have a special day with your loved ones.
The impact of social media on wedding planning is huge! Otherworldly candle displays at dusk on Pinterest boards and celebrity weddings on Instagram with intricate bouquets and glass arrangements do NOT reflect reality! As a future newlywed, the worst thing you could do is subconsciously compare yourself to billionaires and industry professionals and feel bad that your wedding pales in comparison, especially if you are saving for a house or paying back student loans. Truthfully, most people do not have hundreds of thousands of dollars to play with. What matters is that the people you love and cherish will be there.
If you're interested in learning more about the "wedding industry industrial complex," check out this video conversation from The Financial Diet. While I don't agree with all views expressed on the channel, I found the talk insightful. There is also online discussion about the gentrification of cities like Nashville, which are developing more venues specifically for visitors holding bachelorette parties rather than long-time residents. While there isn't one person causing this problem, it's worth thinking about why this trend is taking place, who is benefiting from selling this experience, and how much of it is necessary to have a good time - especially as you plan a fun bash for your sweetheart, family, and friends.
Happy planning, and hopefully, my story can help you out!
- S.